A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.
According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.
A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.
Athough BOTH sides’ brilliant advertising and cable news meat puppets successfully persuaded me the “other party” was full of unpatriotic scumbag, borderline-criminal, Socialist and/or Nazi lunatic fringe who wanted to rape the constitution and piss on the lifeless body of the middle class whilst laughing all the way to the Bank of Special Interest atop the four horses of the apocalypse, I decided to vote anyway….