Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:-Knowing when to come in out of the rain~Why the early bird gets the worm~ Life isn’t always fair~And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, don’t spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, I’m A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, do nothing.
~ Author Unknown
Posts Tagged ‘WTF’
The death of Common Sense
09.22
The Truth Hurts
09.14
A dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner. “Son, where were you today?” The son says “at school dad.” Robot slaps the son! “OK, I watched a DVD at my friends house!” “What DVD?” “Toy story.” Robot slaps the son again! “OK, it was a porno” cries the son. “What! When I was your age I didn’t know what porn was” says the dad. Robot slaps the dad! Mom laughs “Ha Ha Ha! He’s certainly your son.” Robot slaps the mom
WTF – Run for the hills
06.24
This falls under the WTF & OH SHIT RUN categories. The scariest thing any one can here is “Hi we are from the government and we are here to help you”. Is there ever a reason for a “news blackout”. Who does this help? Why do such a thing?
What I want to see is normal citizens with radiation detectors down wind and down stream to report there findings.
Very very WTF!!!
01.04
It really has to be out there for me to really go WTF. I wonder what the thought process was to get to this point in his life?
first class?
12.01
flight attendants need entertainment to keep them awake on those long, boring, late night transatlantic crossings to europe. here’s what i got last night (all the action takes place in the premium class cabin):
a woman and a man who work for the same company, but clearly do not know each other are sitting in seats 5a and 5b. they chit chat through dinner as they drink their wine and enjoy the fine dinner service. they talk about work and her husband. by the time the dessert cart rolls up they are on to liqueurs. she orders a cognac. i ask him if he wants one too. he says, “oh, i’ll just finish hers.”. 3 cognacs and half another bottle of wine later, the lights are out, everyone is asleep but these two have gone from back rub to a full blown make out session, like two horny teenagers. the woman behind them complains that they are so loud that they woke her up. luckily, the brand new couple falls asleep in each others arms.
meanwhile an elderly hasidic man with a walker and his wife/sister take up residence in seats 1a and 1b – right next to the toilet. she tells me that he usually carries some sort of bottle to pee in as it’s tricky for him to up and get to the toilet. but today he accidentally left this “bottle” in the taxi that brought them to the airport, so did we have something similar that he could use. she assured us that he would take care of his “business” under the first class blanket, so it wouldn’t bother anyone.
???!!!
can you imagine? him peeing into a bottle, under a blanket in his first class seat, while the other two are making out? who are these people?
First Class Ticket
11.30
A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.
According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.
A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.
El Santo
10.21
Without further ado, we present to you a clip in which El Santo–the iconic Mexican wrestler and national hero– teams up with Captain America to fight several evil Spider-Men.
EMBED-El Santo And Captain America Vs. Spider-Mans – Watch more free videos